So….how about that eclipse? Yup, that was a thing that happened. Uh huh….seriously I have nothing to say about it. I saw it with everyone at Sanford Mall with those dumbass glasses, my eyes felt itchy and watery which made me paranoid as fuck. So I got up and marched my way to The Local and ordered myself a Boonie Burger (yes, that’s a thing. I shit you not.)
There’s a lot of mystical mumbo jumbo going on about how the eclipse is supposed to mark a perfect time for new beginnings and what not.
“A time to wipe the slate clean”, “A time to work on turning dreams into reality,” “Look within yourself,” blah blah blah blah…some more hippie dippie bullshit…yada yada yada….more life affirming stuff. You get the picture, right?
Anyone whose been following me and reading my stuff knows what I’m about. I’ve put out my intentions for all to see and the universe to pick up on. I sound like a broken record just mentioning and I’m not in the mood to add more to the list of things that I want.
Right now I’m focused on the things that I no longer want. I’m taking out the garbage that I’ve kept in my life as well as my mind. If something doesn’t bring me joy it must go. If someone no longer brings me joy then they’re dead to me. I’ve allowed one too many things to slide. I’ve let myself go with everything mainly because I’ve struggled with constant indecision.
I’m done with all of that. So I’m taking out the trash. It’s not all going to be gone overnight, but I am taking the steps to get rid of the junk, leave it all in the past, and move on. And I’m at a point where moving forward without looking back doesn’t seem like the hardest thing in the world to do anymore.
Things I Do NOT Want
-“Frenemies”. I don’t do love-hate relationships. If I love you then I want you in my life, if I hate you then I just fucking hate you. There is no in-between with me anymore. Besides I’m sick of keeping people around and wondering if they even cared about me to begin with. I’m sick of people latching onto me when I don’t care that much for them anyway. So my Facebook friends list is gonna go through some downsizing. The same holds true outside of social media.
-Things never changing. Change is inevitable. It has to happen. But I’ve been fighting against it. I say I want to keep moving forward with my life but I hold on to things that no longer work for me; a certain way of thinking, staying quiet, and pretending like nothing hurts or that something wasn’t a huge deal.
-Dealing with bad habits. It’s not going to be a cake walk trying to drop them, but I’m going through with it.
-Self doubts. It’s time I release myself from all of them and to do something about whatever fuels them.
-Indecision. I’m sick of always being in the middle of everything, unable to pick a side or not being able to stand by my own true thoughts and feelings. When I don’t stick by own feelings then I’m lead by other people’s ideas. At first I thought I was just being open-minded. Anymore open minded and I’d have all brain matter spill out from my skull.
-Having to settle. I refuse to settle. I want more. I believe in my heart of hearts that I do deserve more and that I can be better than I am now. I want to be better.
-Come mierda. Translation->”Shit eaters”. Do I really need to elaborate on this part?
I’m done. I’m just done. Have a nice day y’all.